“If it’s true that there are as many minds as there are heads,” wrote Leo Tolstoy in Anna Karenina, “then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.”
A lot of us share a collective memory of going through the pages of a book in complete absorption and finding something within us being eternally altered. When a book’s sweet journey captures our attention like this, it’s fair to say that it is a kind of love; subtle, slow and quiet. We experience the nostalgia that comes with love whether it’s an afternoon of reading a poetry book or a month long quest of exploring the politics of a fantasy land. An unnamed yet familiar emotion finds expression.
A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies
These thousand lives socialize us, offering perspectives on the areas of relationships, mind, creativity, pain, loneliness, fear, future, upbringing, sexuality, nature, and much more. The reading process is increasingly being used by counsellors and therapists for a positive influence on the clients’ thoughts and emotions. Reading becomes the experience which guides, supports, and generates insight during the therapeutic process.
Research based books
Mating in Captivity (Unlocking Erotic Intelligence) — Esther Perel
As Adam Phillips wryly notes, “In our erotic life work does not work…trying is always trying too hard. Eroticism is an imaginative act, and you can’t measure it.”
Can love and desire exist together? Esther Perel, a Belgian psychotherapist, explores one of the major contradictions of any long term relationship; the need for familiarity against the longing for freshness. She prefers to ask profound questions over giving simple answers through case studies and discussions. Just as a plant requires both soil and water to grow, we are created by fierce individuality combined with safe and loving relationships. In this way, the very act of existing is a paradox.
Intuitive Eating (A Revolutionary Program that Works) — Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch
The next time that you see yourself eating in a way that feels uncomfortable, unsatisfying, or even out of control, give yourself the gift of remembering what you were thinking before you even took the first bite of food. Examine that thought and challenge it.
This book lays the 10 basic principles of intuitive eating. Readers can easily follow the detailed plan of each principle like ‘Reject the Diet Mentality’, ‘Honour Your Hunger’, ‘Feel Your Fullness’ etc to bring about healthy eating behaviors in their life. The evidence based action plans don’t just challenge the toxic conditionings towards eating and food; they instil unconditional compassion within the struggling individual towards inner signals of the body.
The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat — Oliver Sacks
There remains the possibility of reintegration by art, by communion, by human spirit.
The most curious cases of neurological devastation and pathology are narrated along with their rehabilitation story. While this book is heavy with medical jargon, what’s profound is Oliver Sacks’ insistence on humanizing each individual’s case file. The pathology is delicately handled not as a set of symptoms, but the implication of those symptoms within the individual’s daily life. For instance, the abstraction of a man who cannot differentiate between his wife and his hat showed up in his art years before he grew ill. How to help such a man?
A sense of lightness
Big Magic — Elizabeth Gilbert
Creativity is a crushing chore and a glorious mystery. The work wants to be made and it wants to be made through you
The loving cultivation of an attitude which pursues creativity in daily life is the gift any reader will receive after going through this book. It doesn’t matter if our art is imperfect, and it doesn’t matter if nobody notices it. The creative process won’t always arouse passion, and on most days it can be pretty darn dull. Elizabeth Gilbert’s gentle, playful encouragement to still live a stubbornly creative life is the lesson all of us need.
The Art of Communication — Thich Nhat Hanh
Deep listening and loving speech are the best instruments for establishing and restoring communication with others and relieving suffering
Thich Nhat Hanh’s tender teachings on the art of communication aim to make our relationships more compassionate and understanding. He acknowledges that there exists a deep suffering within each human. How to use our communication in a way which brings about a profound sense of balance inside everybody we talk to? His simple practices are easy to read but difficult to act on in the face of emotional storms. The reader must carry this book in their bag to flip through a paragraph at the end of every day.
A Little Book of Beauty — Ruskin Bond
Everything in the world is beautiful, but we only recognize beauty if we see it either seldom or from afar. Listen, today we are Gods! Our blue shadows are enormous! We move in a gigantic, enormous world!
Ruskin Bond carefully compiled the musings of writers and poets on beauty of this world, nature, and self. On days when we our shoulders feel heavy with existential burden, these quotes bring about a much needed respite. It calms even the most restless of hearts.
Dealing with emotional storms
Belonging (Remembering Ourselves Home) — Toko — pa Turner
Though we may think of belonging as a static place of attainment, it is actually dynamic. Belonging requires periods of exile or separation in order to mature into greater capacities.
In a poignant account of loneliness and finding belonging in this world, the author dives into Carl Jung’s concepts of analysis of dreams and archetypes to explore our fears, pain of separation, and grief. The masterfully poetic writing style doesn’t just talk about our darkest emotions; it ends up forming a relationship with them. The reader can feel safe in entering their own sorrows and difficulties long after they’re through with the last page and find a sense of belonging.
When Things Fall Apart — Pema Chödrön
Impermanence is the principle of harmony
When we are at the heart of any emotional storm, we either blame or feel blamed. We try to numb the pain, distract ourselves, label it ten different things, and feel pulled from all directions. Pema guides us into meeting life’s greatest challenges with curiosity and maitri (friendliness). The catch is, don’t rely on hope. All crisis situations are inherently hopeless, triggering the dread that comes with impermanence. Her words are a practice to relax into utter hopelessness.
